Chuck Norris + The Sims

I realize I'm a bit late to the party, but ChuckNorrisFacts.com is the most hilarious site I have ever been to. I say this in full recognition of all the hilarious internet and email spam I've witnessed throughout college. And for those of us who have been, we all know college is about a T1 connection in the dorms and lots of downtime spent on stupid websites.

My co-workers and I started an email thread yesterday where we created our own Chuck Norris Facts. However, these were Chuck Norris Facts that involved Maxis, game development, and The Sims. I'm listing them here, knowing full well that practically nobody will get them. Credit is also due to Jerome, Jack, and Derek.

Maxis Chuck Norris Facts:

  • Chuck Norris Wants to see a ghost so that he can kill them again.
  • Woohoo with Chuck Norris is everyones Lifetime Want and Fear.
  • Chuck Norris can Woohoo wherever he wants
  • Chuck Norris is unsellable and can't be placed on shelves
  • NPC Chuck Norris can object error so hard that the neighborhoods have fault lines now.
  • When Chuck Norris presents the E3 demo, people die.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't need cheats. He makes the code bend to his will.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't need to scope.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't patch, he goes straight to sequel.
  • Chuck Norris improved performance by 800% in The Sims 2 by making FBA
    run only set to next kidney punch.
  • When Chuck Norris plays the Sims, a new death is added: death by
    roundhouse kick to the face
  • When Chuck Norris makes an expansion pack, only one animation is
    needed a2a-roundhousekick.
  • When Chuck Norris does localization, all the text is in one language: pain.
    Chuck Norris' markers never run out of ink in meetings, because he fills them with blood.
  • When Chuck Norris is a Feature Producer, FAME scores will always be 0, because the dev team can't give an estimate because they're already dead from Chuck Norris'
    roundhouse kicks.

    (posted by grant at 3/03/2006)  

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