The Vending Machines Kicked My Ass Today



Round 1: I try to purchase a Nutragrain bar. For the first time in my life, the item I purchased didn't fall. I furiously beat on the machine for a minute before I realized the vending machine could very well be the end of me. No Darwin Award today! After evaluating my options (continue thrashing the machine or spend another quarter to get the object I already paid for), the bar decided to fall. Victory is mine!

Round 2: Word spreads quickly in the vending machine world. Obviously, Snack Machine did not appreciate my narrow victory over him earlier. So he told his buddy, Soda Machine, to eat my fucking dollar. I tried to buy a Diet Pepsi to soothe my throat. The machine didn't just send the dollar back. It didn't say, "no, your business isn't welcome here." The machine instead returned half of my dollar bill. Insulting!

I hope it chokes on the other half of George Washington and dies.

(posted by grant at 2/27/2006)   (0) comments

The French Defeated...Again!

Today was a gorgeous, sunny, cool but not cold, San Francisco day. Naturally, Beth and I spent a few hours at Baker Beach. I can't just sit on the beach and enjoy the sun/view whatever. I'm a 12 year old living in a really hot guy's body. There was a ton of bamboo like wood scattered across the beach, so I did what any 12 year old living in a hot dude's body would do -- I made an 18th century-styled fort.

My fort rocked. It had an outer fence, a central hold -- complete with flag pole and cannon emplacement -- covered entrances (both for the outer wall and central hold), guard tower, shack, scattered debris (to confuse assaulting troops!), and two barricades. I even took time to do some earthwork improvements. I snapped a few pictures that will be up on the photo page shortly.

Even better, some crazy French kids were in the vicinity of my fort. I knew they were French because A.) they were just running around in their underwear (instead of proper swimsuits) and B.) they were, uh, speaking French. They saw my fort and tried to imitate it. But I was like, "don't even try it Francois!". Their fort sucked and I have the pictures to prove it.

I also came up with a few game ideas, which I shall try to flesh out. All in all, a very good Sunday.

(posted by grant at 2/12/2006)   (0) comments

A Conversation Between Brothers

I called my brother this morning and left a message on his cell to call me back. Below is the text conversation that followed:

Dylan: I'm in class. You need something?
Grant: Command and Conquer is out today.
Dylan: Get it for me!
Grant: Can I trust you? Do you fight for Kane or the GDI?
Dylan: I don't have time for this dork. Just get the game please.
Grant: Traitor! Tiberium has corrupted your soul!
Dylan: God your a nerd. Fine. I'm for GDI.
Grant: It's a shame. Kane would have given you endless power.

(posted by grant at 2/08/2006)   (0) comments